Meanwhile...

You are an 11 year old dwarven child... What is your name again?
Your parents are unoriginal, and have named you Urist.
Urist Okbodthîkut (Urist Doomscroll*)

* Dwarven does not have a specific word for "scroll" so this could also be translated as "Doombook" or "Doomcodex"
You are actually Urist Okbodthîkut IV, to be precise. Your parents are were the king and queen. In fact, your only notable feature is the fact that you are the new king...

You're all caught up but the fun has just begun! Head over to the Bay12 forums to add a suggestion for what happens next.