You sneak-dodge-roll back up the stairs.
You noticed that the alarm has stopped.
First thing's first. We need better cover than a few lumps of cave moss and microcline. We must pass as a traveling performer on our way to The Spicy Olive. Tie a string to the axe to make a kludujalambus.* **A mid-sized hand-held stringed instrument with a wooden neck connecting to a metal body. The string is tied from the top of the neck down over the body and the musician picks the string with a wooden plectrum. The instrument has a one octave range going from a middle to a mid-high pitch. The instrument has a quavering harsh nasal buzzy timbre.
You do have some string in your bag.
One of the axe heads is getting in the way so you pry it off with your sharp rock. You tie on the string, and, voilà! You have a kludujaliambus.
You smear some cave moss on your skin and don a mushroom hat.
Now you can probably pass as a lizard man bard! What is your backstory?
Kosak Korarel (Drink Cavernwater) is a Forest Titan born in -255. He is associated with water and sobriety.
We are Gamil Babin (Trust Friend), and YOUR PARENTS ARE DEAD. Avid consumers of fine dwarven liquors, your parents were targeted and crushed by Kosak Korarel, a titan whose primary activates include the violent proliferation of sobriety using it's supernatural ability to detect hangovers.
Any who enjoy adult beverages on the regular are at risk, and we travel the land warning good, proper drunkards of the terrible dangers of not being drunk at all times.
Recommend that we primarily use our proven skill at oration and storytelling, supplemented by our unproven skill at the kludujalambus.
You walk to The Spicy Olive and no one has kicked you in the face yet. This disguise might actually be working!
You hear some commotion on the other side of the door. You take a peek.
There are dwarves eating and drinking while a human performer sings and dances. Seeing food makes you realize how hungry you are.
Offer carvings of food for actual food.And if that doesn't work carve some counterfeit currency and use that.
You scoot toward the bar while keeping a hold of your hat. While scooting you over hear an argument between two dwarves.
"-or it's straight to the arena with ye!"
The other dwarf groans. He says something but you can't quite make out the words.
Be adopted by cat. (in shadow behind pillar).
You carve on the pillar near the cat who seems to have some sort of allergy problem.
Near the completion of your cheese, you hear someone shout behind you.
"Oi! Defacing public property? Explain yourself!"
This man is practically invulnerable from the waist up, and he's party central from the waist down.
Hold up, did he leave his fucking adamantite shield by his bar stool?
OK, OK, stand aside for the CHEESE, and when everyone is distracted by your MASTERFUL engraving work, Kick the Guard in the party, grab the shield and run!
You stand aside and let your engraving speak for itself.
PERFECT DISTRACTION FOR DODGEROLLS
You make it to the adamantine shield!
The champion laughs and throws aside his sword. He grabs your right arm and bends it until your elbow collapses! A ligament in your elbow has been torn!
The mayor grabs the shield. The pain is so bad you can't keep a hold of it. He punches you in the jaw.
Some of the blood got on your pendant. It starts to vibrate and become hot against your chest.
The vibrations moves into your chest itself. You feel the blood flowing through your body. You start to feel the blood flowing through the dwarves bodies too... Everything is BLOOD.